


Playdate

by flootzavut



Series: Lie to NCIS [46]
Category: Lie to Me (TV), NCIS
Genre: And I'm not sorry, Awesome Foursome, Cal's getting distance glasses, Crossover, CxK, F/M, Friendship, Gillian is sneaky, Humour, Kate Lives, Kate and Cal are superheroes for the people, Lie to NCIS, UST, also I love Tim Roth in glasses, crossoververse, foursomeverse, it's my AU, reading emotions, references to a guy being a creeper, so there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-30 02:34:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10867227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flootzavut/pseuds/flootzavut
Summary: In which Gillian quietly schemes and Kate and Cal have no idea.Crib notes for the fandom blindhere.





	Playdate

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BadWolf303](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadWolf303/gifts).



> for coming up with this idea and telling me I had to write it, not to mention invaluable help figuring out how to make it actually work! You're the actual best ❤️

* * *

_**Playdate** _

* * *

 

When Gillian jokes about sending them out on a 'playdate', Kate laughs aloud and Cal looks mildly insulted, but the fact is, they simply aren't needed for a few hours, and it's good to get out of the office. Gibbs had to go back to the Navy Yard, and Gill is running vocal analysis that requires her sharp ears and delicate touch, and would only be slowed down by Cal inquiring every five minutes if she was done and what had she found so far and wouldn't it be quicker if... (Kate is sure he was once that kid who asked 'Are we nearly there yet?' thirty seconds after he first got in the car.)

They've been cooped up for days, and it's a relief to get out of the office and to walk in the sunshine, and now they've found a fairly swish hotel restaurant which promises a leisurely lunch. She's under strict instructions from Gillian not to come back for at least three hours, and as long as she can keep Cal out of trouble for that length of time, this will count as the most enjoyable day's work she's had in several weeks.

(She does sometimes feel a bit like a babysitter with a very large and extremely mischievous child, but she's starting to get used to that feeling in general, and he is usually a pretty enjoyable charge.)

Of course, his attention span is still that of an amnesiac mayfly. "Are you even listening to me?"

"What? Oh. Sorry, love." He does at least have the grace to look guilty. "I was- there's a woman over there-"

Kate frowns. If she's completely honest with herself, she's somewhat taken aback by how offended she is. A bit on Gill's behalf, but also on her own.

Cal glances over her shoulder again, then back to her face, and evidently her annoyance has registered. "Oh God, I didn't mean- not like that, love," he says, tripping over his words a little. He grabs her hands, squeezes. "Sorry darling, that came out all wrong." He squeezes again, then rubs at his face and gives himself a shake like he's getting his head back on straight. "See, look, there's a woman over there, seems to be on a date, and she's not happy."

"Okay." Kate's not sure how to respond to that, though it does mollify her hurt feelings a little.

Cal's expression turns sheepish. "I can't help it, see? Can't turn it off. 'S what bollocksed up my marriage." He pulls a face. "Well, that and we were a horrible couple."

She turns her hand over in his so she can squeeze back. "Okay, I'll let you off just this once," she offers with a grin, and he chuckles.

"Good. Hate to have you nark on me to the missus."

She considers asking for a translation, but decides it's probably not that important. "So, this woman?"

His face drops instantly from amusement to concern. Cal plays at being an asshole (and in fact, often is an asshole), but like Gibbs, he has a surprisingly soft heart. "She looks..." He shakes his head as if he can't quite pin it down. "You know, I think I need some distance glasses to go with the reading ones," he admits ruefully, "but I'm pretty sure I'm seeing fear there."

That explains a lot. Kate's not certain if it's because he has a teenaged daughter, or if it goes back to his childhood - she doesn't know the details, but she knows his dad knocked his mom about. Either way, a man who makes the woman he's with afraid is something Cal can't or maybe just won't ignore.

She squeezes his hand again. "Any way we can check?"

He screws up his face. "If the bastard would go to the loo, I could just ask her - or maybe you should, 'cause she probably don't need attention from another bloke right now. If I could get closer... but I don't wanna freak her out, you know?"

"Show me where she is?"

He frowns. "Doncha think that'll freak her out even more? Two of us staring at her?"

Kate rolls her eyes. "Yes, it would, but I'm not going to stare, I'm gonna go use the restroom and see if I can get a better look at her, or maybe the guy, on my way past."

Cal lights up. "Not just a pretty face are you, gorgeous?"

She can't help grinning back at him. It's actually sort of sweet when he gives her one of those guileless, glowing compliments.

He glances over her shoulder again. "Okay, seventh table on your left, he's wearing a poncey suit, but she's in a pretty red frock, can't miss her."

This time, Kate catches enough not to need a translation, for which she's grateful. "You could always try asking to move to a different table, too, a closer one, if you can think of a good reason." She gets up. "Though personally, I bet you look cute in glasses."

It's both amusing and sort of adorable how he both preens and damn near blushes when she pays him a compliment right back, and as she turns and heads to the ladies' room, she grins widely to herself.

She doesn't get the best of looks at the woman as she walks past, but she does her best - and she's not a profiler for nothing. She may not have all Cal's expertise, but she does have plenty of experience of dates gone sour, and the woman definitely doesn't look comfortable.

On the return journey, she takes a cautious glance at the guy, only to discover he's openly leering at her in a way that gives her the creeps. It shakes her up so badly that she almost walks past the table Cal's got himself moved to, and he has to reach out and grab her hand.

"Oi, darling, not nice to ignore your date."

She rolls her eyes at him even as she sits down. "Date?"

"'S a playdate innit? Gill's words, not mine."

"I think that makes me your babysitter, not your date."

He waggles his eyebrows. "Date with the babysitter, eh? Even better."

Kate rolls her eyes again and gives him a halfhearted headslap, but she can't help her grin. Cal may be an insufferable tease, but he somehow manages to make it nigh-on irresistible. "Idiot."

A couple of minutes are lost when their food arrives, and then Kate's able to pass on what she picked up about the mystery couple.

Cal's not at all surprised in her assessment of the woman, nodding along with a pained look on his face, but his reaction to knowing the guy made Kate uncomfortable takes her by surprise. His fists clench and his anger is palpable - she half expects him to go deck the guy.

She reaches out and grabs his hand, unfurls his fingers one by one. "It's not worth it. We'll help her out, but I'm not letting you get into a fight, Cal." She presses his hand flat to the table and rubs the back of it, and his other fist relaxes slightly. "It's not worth it."

"You forget, love, I can see it on your face. How uncomfortable he made you. Anger and disgust and just a little bit of fear." His expression is as tight as his fists were. "Can't abide a man doing that to a friend of mine. Got a mind to go clean his clock."

"Hey." She waits until he's looking at her again. "Focus. Yes, he got to me, but I'm here with you, not on a date with Mister Creep - and besides, I'm a federal agent. He could try it on with me, but he'd lose a hand."

He manages a forced grin and a nod in acknowledgement of that truth.

"The important thing is how we get her out of it, okay?"

The muscle in his jaw ticks a couple more times, then he lets out a breath and visibly deflates. "I know you're right. Hate it, though."

She grins, she can't help it. "That's because you're a decent guy, and that's why we love you."

He blinks a few times at her assessment, then looks down and away, and she grins wider as she recognises 'embarrassment', then the crinkling of his eyes and the way his cheeks pop up, 'happiness.' "Oh."

She reaches over and ruffles his hair - it's become an odd little shorthand for both her and Gibbs around Cal, to convey affection and friendship and simply to make him smile. There's something so  _ruffleable_  about the man, and the way it invariably makes him look shyly delighted is adorable.

Kate clicks her fingers a couple times to get his attention back, and he nods sheepishly.

"All right, all right. So what's the plan?"

"You make sure we're right about this, then we figure out how to get him away from her long enough to get her out of here and on her way home."

Cal looks over her shoulder. "Y'know, I do need glasses, but even from here... that girl's really uncomfortable. Not just a bit, but trying to hide her fear. Hate to see it."

"Okay... so we get her out. How?"

Cal looks back at her, expression suddenly dark. "Well, I'm voting for I go punch his lights out and you get her away in the confusion."

"I'm not letting you get in a fight over this, Cal. Period. He's not worth it."

Cal pokes his bottom lip out, but subsides a little. "Probably right. Would love to give 'im a good seeing to, though."

Kate grabs his hand again. "Quiet lunch? Getting back to the office in one piece? Any of this ringing a bell?"

"Okay, okay." He rests his chin on his free hand, and his gaze moves leisurely back and forth between her face and the table they're watching. "Oh wait, he's getting up. Might be our chance."

The man walks by their table (Kate gives Cal a 'don't!' look, and manages to restrain him to a glare), but he only crosses to the bar to order a drink, and he's still within full view of his date. Kate groans in frustration.

"Aye aye," says Cal, "got an idea."

Coming from Cal, those words are a touch concerning, but he's up and out of his seat before Kate has a chance to protest. He ambles up beside the guy, gives him a nod, orders another beer, and Kate has no idea why he looks so pleased with himself when he comes back.

He sits down, sets his drink on a coaster, then, with a flourish, produces a wallet from who knows where.

It takes Kate a second to catch on, then- "You stole his wallet?!"

"Keep it down, love!"

They both look around, but it doesn't seem like Kate's outburst was loud enough to draw attention.

"How did you even-?"

He clicks his tongue and grins smugly. "That'd be telling."

"And how does this even help us?"

Cal grins wider, opens the wallet, and quickly finds and reels off the man's name and cellphone number. "I'll call him, tell him I've found his wallet, and he goes off on a wild goose chase."

"A wild goose chase to this table?"

He gives her his best 'Do you think I'm stupid?' look. "I'll say I work here."

Kate can still see plenty of issues with that, but she shrugs. It's not like she has any better ideas, and maybe it'll work.

Cal fishes out his cell and carefully punches the number in. Kate does a double take when she hears him speak, in a pitch perfect American accent that's almost a bit upsetting. He doesn't sound like their Cal at all, and if she didn't have a job to do here, she'd take a moment to freak out.

With more smoothness than she knew he possessed, he informs the man that his wallet has been found and handed in at the front desk.

They watch as the guy searches his pockets, accuses his date of taking it (at which point Kate loses any tiny hope she had left that the guy wasn't a total jerk), then storms off.

"You're up, love," says Cal, with a shooing gesture. "I'll dump the wallet on his table, he'll be none the wiser."

Kate gives herself a shake and makes her way over to the woman in the red dress. She's confused at first, but Kate thinks the alacrity with which she acquiesces says a lot about how uncomfortable she was. By the time Kate's handing her into a taxi, her entire demeanour has changed, and she's all but ready to offer her firstborn in gratitude.

"Really, it was my pleasure," Kate assures her. "Now go!"

There's a certain satisfaction to seeing the woman off safely. For all Kate is a federal agent, and any date who tried it on with her would live to regret it, she would honestly have liked this kind of help a few times during her dating career. It's nice to know they've saved someone from a creep.

When she gets back inside, flush with their triumph, Cal is perching on the couple's abandoned table, sporting a bloody lip and an enormous grin.

Kate can't help but rush over and carefully check it out. "What did you do?" she asks, with the mixture of worry, frustration and resignation that she's picked up from Gillian.

He submits to her inspection, though he hisses when she runs back to their table for her drink and fishes a piece of ice out to press against the wound, but his smile doesn't falter for a nanosecond. "Look, I know you can take care of yourself, but the way he was looking at you - and besides, not every girl out there's got your balls. Thought I might put the fear of God into him a bit."

Kate shakes her head. "And how did that go?"

His grin stretches into a smirk. "You should see the other guy."

"Cal..."

"He started it! I was just gonna have a quiet word, he threw the first punch. 'Course-" he waggles his eyebrows "-I threw the last one. Maître d' escorted him off the premises toot sweet."

"'Toot sweet'?"

"French, innit? Tout de suite, means pretty bloody quick."

"Oh." There's a pause. "You're really weird."

He smirks. "'S part of my charm."

Kate rolls her eyes. "Any chance I can have my nice relaxing lunch now?"

"Relaxing? With me?"

She giggles. "Okay, relatively relaxing."

"That, darling, I think we can manage. Milady?" He holds out his arm as if he's a proper gentleman, and she laughs again even as she takes it and lets him lead her back to their table.

_~ fin ~_


End file.
